Three men were sitting in a small neighborhood bar, each with a beer in front of him, unwinding after a long and exhausting week of work. The dim lights reflected off the amber liquid in their glasses as they settled into the familiar comfort of the worn leather stools. As often happens in conversations like this, the topic slowly drifted from the grind of their jobs to life at home. And, almost inevitably, it landed on their wives. With laughter, teasing, and the usual bar-table bravado, they began competing over who had the “dumbest” wife.
The first man shook his head with a wry, almost incredulous smile and said:
“My wife is so dumb she wants to spend $15,000 to remodel the kitchen… and she can’t even cook. Not even a proper fried egg. Last week she tried to make spaghetti and somehow ended up with gluey noodles that stuck together like cement!”
The others chuckled, clinking their glasses in solidarity. “Oh, come on!” the second man said, wiping a tear from laughing. “That’s bad, but I think mine takes the cake.”
He leaned in and said, shaking his head:
“Mine keeps asking me to buy her a brand-new $50,000 car, and she hasn’t even gotten her driver’s license yet! She doesn’t know how to drive. She’s still taking lessons, but every time we go to the DMV, she somehow gets us lost on the way there. Lost. In our own neighborhood!”
Both men laughed harder, nearly spilling their drinks, thinking that was truly over the top. The first man shook his head, incredulous. “I mean, $50,000 for a car she can’t even drive? That’s… that’s insane!”
Then the third man leaned back in his chair, sipped his beer slowly, and smiled with an air of smug confidence, as if he were about to deliver the final blow.
“No, no,” he said, “you guys have got it all wrong. My wife… she beats them both.”
The other two leaned in, curiosity piqued, waiting for the punchline.
“Okay… how’s that?” the first man asked, eyebrows raised.
He leaned forward, lowering his voice for dramatic effect, a mischievous glint in his eyes:
“She bought three boxes of condoms to take on a business trip… and she doesn’t even have a biological reason to use them.”
For a split second, the bar fell silent. Then the table erupted into uncontrollable laughter. Drinks were nearly spilled, heads tilted back, and tears formed in the corners of their eyes. Even the bartender peeked over the counter, shaking his head with a grin, muttering, “Some people just can’t help themselves.”
The first man wiped his eyes and laughed, shaking his head. “I can’t believe she actually did that. Who even thinks of buying condoms when it’s completely pointless?”
The second man, still chuckling, nodded slowly. “I don’t know whether to be impressed… or terrified. That’s next-level dumb… but also… cunning?”
The third man just leaned back, grinning, enjoying the mix of disbelief and amusement in his friends’ faces. “You see,” he said, “that’s why I always say, never underestimate the creativity of a wife who’s… let’s call it ‘ambitiously uninformed.’”
More laughter followed. They toasted again, the jokes flowing faster than the beer. For the rest of the night, the three men continued to trade outrageous stories about their spouses, each one trying to outdo the other, but the image of the condom-buying incident lingered in their minds—impossible to top, yet impossible to forget.