Throughout our lives, we come across innumerable people who put on a polished front of reliability and generosity. But as time goes on, we frequently find that the surface seldom conveys the complete picture. Although it might appear that a lifetime of observation is necessary to fully comprehend someone’s true nature, psychological wisdom indicates that this is not the case. We can discover a person’s essence in a matter of minutes by concentrating on the silent, vulnerable moments of everyday life.
Carl Jung, a Swiss psychiatrist, promoted the theory that character is revealed when we are relaxed and our social masks are off, not when we are prepared and acting for an audience. According to Jung’s observations, there are two key indicators of the human soul: how we react when life doesn’t go our way and how we treat others who have nothing to offer. These indicators get right to the core of a person’s integrity, eschewing the carefully manicured personas they present on social media or in formal situations.
How a person behaves with others who have no authority over them is the first—and possibly most important—indicator of their character. Being courteous to a boss, a wealthy client, or a powerful peer is simple in any social structure. However, interactions with a janitor sweeping a hallway, a store salesperson at the conclusion of a long shift, or a waiter who makes a mistake reveal true character. A person demonstrates a fundamental conviction in human dignity when they treat someone in a service capacity with true respect and kindness. They demonstrate that their moral compass is based on empathy rather than prestige or possible benefit. On the other hand, a person who is endearing to their peers yet contemptuous or haughty toward people they consider to be “below” them betrays a deep-seated insecurity and a lack of true moral character.
The way someone handles frustration and hardship is the second telling indicator. Comfort enables us to keep up a façade of patience, but it is a poor teacher. The crucible of a crisis, be it a significant life setback or a tiny daily nuisance like a traffic jam or a delayed trip, is where real nature emerges. Does the person lose their cool and look for someone to blame, or do they remain calm and look for a positive way to move forward? Jung reminded us that the capacity to maintain equilibrium in the face of chaos is a sign of emotional development. It is impossible for large gestures to match the self-control and humility displayed by someone who can remain human under duress.
In addition to these obvious indicators, a few subtle hints provide further information. A person’s sense of humor can serve as a window into their subconscious; whereas sarcasm employed as a weapon frequently suggests buried animosity, sympathetic comedy that unites people reveals interior security. In a same vein, listen to how someone discusses the absence. People who regularly spread rumors or disparage others are typically expressing their own discontent. Lastly, think about a person’s use of power. Fair and humble leaders demonstrate that their principles are based on service rather than ego, whether in a family or a boardroom.
These realities seem familiar to those of us who have had decades of experience. Based on these same characteristics, we have witnessed relationships succeed or fail. We are aware that constant action is the only money that counts, even though words are cheap. It is crucial to keep in mind that character cannot be manufactured or filtered in a society that is becoming more and more fixated on “image.” It is ingrained in the silent decisions we make on a daily basis. By paying attention to these subtle yet potent indicators, we discover a mirror for our own development in addition to learning who to trust. At its best, character is the unwavering light that endures when the cheers fade and the path becomes challenging.